Flying With Heart

Artwork by Lorelei: "That is when he started to fly wingless
with heart"-Bahareh Amidi

Today I am reminded to fly with heart.  It was from a poem that I received this memory, a poem entitled “The Angel Who Lost His Wings.”  The author, Bahareh, is a beautiful poetess and I'm honored to call her my friend as well.

 

As a child I was afraid of everything. At times it was a paralyzing and consuming fear. I was afraid of being left alone, afraid of thunder, afraid of getting lost, afraid of going to hell, afraid of talking to people. The list goes on. You name it, I was fearful of it. 

As an adult, I’ve made a conscious effort not to be limited by my fears. I no longer entertain the fear-based illusions of my own mind or try to save others based on them. I believe fear is the basis for exclusion in relationships, both individual and global. We fear what we don’t understand. It is my belief that we are all one, all connected, all here to guide, teach, and support each other in the process of being.

Artwork by Lorelei: "The greatest danger facing us is ourselves, and irrational fear of the unknown."
- Captain Kirk, Star Trek

Very few people want to risk exploring anything beyond their physical, mental, or spiritual comfort zones. I want to listen, reflect, and experience. I want to look beyond my fears and my limited beliefs. I want to examine all the perceptions that keep me from connecting to myself and to the people and experiences that cross my path.

I’ve feel the light that shines in me and through me. I want to inspire others to embrace their own journey, finding their own truth, and live creatively. We all have our own mountains to climb, struggling through the myriad of challenges that will reveal our own light.

Artwork by Lorelei: I must be a mermaid. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”-Anais Nin

In a matter of days I will embark on a new adventure - a new chapter in my journey. It begins with a month-long Yoga retreat and certification. I bounce back and forth between moments of excitement to moments of sheer panic! I’ve never done anything quite like this before. The mind worms of anxiety and fear have definitely crept in and out of the corners of my thoughts.

Artwork by Lorelei: “Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before.” -Erich Fromm

 

As I sit in reflection of my life, my children come to mind. Their bravery and courage in their own lives give me renewed strength to keep reaching, to spread my wings and fly. Their willingness to take risks, to follow their own dreams and blaze new trails, fill me with pride as a mother and give me the courage to do the same.

Artwork by Lorelei: “You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself. “-Alan Alda

I think back to when my oldest son was small. He was four. He was a beautiful blue-eyed, curly-headed, shy little momma’s boy. That morning the sky was as blue as his eyes and the sunshine as bright as his smile. I helped him tie his orange belt in preparation to compete in a statewide competition for Tae Kwon Do. 

As we approached the lobby of the venue, there were hundreds of people filing into the arena. The room was packed with spectators, fellow competitors and parents. Pieces of conversation buzzed in our ears like a swarm of bees, and camera lights hit the air like flashes of lightning. It was quite overwhelming. He took one look at this crowd, let go of my hand, and bolted for the door. He was there to “fight” but he decided to take “flight” instead.

I caught up with him and swooped him up just as he reached the exit. I tried unsuccessfully to console him. My words did little to convince him that he was brave and prepared for this day. I can still see those big blue eyes filled with tears, begging me to take him home. Conflicted, and with many second thoughts, I quickly deposited him, tears and all, into the hands of his beloved instructor. With tears of my own, I disappeared into the crowd, not knowing if he would participate, much less forgive me. That day, without realizing it, my son began one of many journeys in his life. It was the beginning of his journey within. 

Artwork by Lorelei: "From that hour Siddhartha ceased to fight against his destiny. There shone in his face the serenity of knowledge, of one who is no longer confronted with conflict of desires, who has found salvation, who is in harmony with the stream of events, with the stream of life, full of sympathy and compassion, surrendering himself to the stream, belonging to the unity of all things."-Hermann Hesse

At the tender age of four, my little boy grew leaps and bounds that morning. He found his light, stepped onto the floor, scared to death, yet determined. Just like the angel who lost his wings, he started to fly, with the wings of his heart. This time, those wings didn't carry him out the door in fear, but instead he soared to new heights. Those wings carried him to victory, both physically and emotionally. He walked off the floor, a little taller, a little braver, a little wiser, and with two gold medals around his neck. He was transformed. So was I.

Occasionally, my four-year old self visits me, full of fear and self-doubt. At times, while preparing for this yoga adventure, I’ve wanted to run away, just like my baby did on that sunny Saturday morning almost 20 years ago. I invite my more adventurous self to embrace the unknowns with wonder and joyful anticipation. 

For me, adventure and travel are almost always accompanied by inward journeys. Perhaps, by being dedicated to our own self-transformation on a daily basis, committed to living creatively, and practicing compassion with ourselves as well as others, true healing can begin. Perhaps, by staying present in the moment, embracing the mystery, and opening to the lessons we can learn from each other, we can begin to heal the world. Perhaps, I’m a dreamer, but perhaps, I’m not the only one.

Artwork by Lorelei:
"Listen to the colour of your dreams."-The Beatles

So, I will embrace myself with compassion and deliver my inner four-year-old self to the beloved Yogis – my teachers and guides along this particular journey. I know that just as my son did that day, and my children have done many times since, I will spread my wings and fly with heart.

Artwork by Lorelei: Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence."
- Desiderata

Pack light, travel light, BE the light.

On The Wings Of Cupid

The Universe has indeed, come rushing in. I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever felt connected to so many hearts. Over the course of the past few weeks, many people have touched my life in one way or another. I’ve sat with the sorrow of heartbreak, witnessed the bravery of youth, and shared in the celebration of milestones. I’ve felt the unfolding and opening of my own heart like a flower in full bloom, confirming what my spirit has always known. My truth. It’s about connection. It’s about stories. It’s about the journey.

Artwork by Lorelei: “Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.” -Rumi

 I’m feeling such love and gratitude tonight for all who are in my life. As I reflect upon my path and those I’ve encountered along the way, the impact cannot possibly be fully realized. I’m grateful for all the people that have shared my journey. I hold memories of you like pieces of gathered treasure, with fondness in my heart. 

Each experience has been inspiring and unique, filled with the colors of connection and emotions. A simple smile from a stranger, a tear from a friend, and a prayer from a mother have painted my canvas with layers of life. Living art. I’m filled with possibility and inspiration. Each story you’ve shared, and each truth you’ve spoken have been gifts in my life and lessons to wonder and ponder, each leading me to a deeper understanding of myself.

Artwork by Lorelei:

"If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal itself to us"-Daisaku Ikeda

Every day is a perfect day to feel and celebrate the deep appreciation for all those soul connections. Today I send my love to you all on the wings of Cupid and hope it lands softly at your heart’s door. I send you love and light and wish you a Valentine’s Day filled inspiration, possibility, creativity, and gifts from the heart.

For The Love Of Golf

I’ve done my best to keep up with his balls and support them as best I could over the years, but it hasn’t always been easy! I’ve been a ball chaser, ball retriever, and ball buster...in the most loving way of course.

Artwork by Lorelei: "A Story Of Love"

 I’m not the least bit embarrassed to tell you that my husband loves his balls! Yes, it’s true. His balls come in all sizes and a variety of colors; he has different balls for different occasions and sometimes he carries a spare ball in his pocket. He has a complete collection of tennis balls, racquet balls, basketballs, and squash balls.

Perry's day of tennis with Rafael Nadal

 He even had the balls to run 12 complete marathons!

Perry crossing the finish line at the Dubai Marathon

 Over the last four years, he's added golf balls to his collection.  A lot of golf balls…..

Perry with a swing in his step.

 The way I see it, golf is a man’s dream sport. Just the terminology alone is enough to launch him into a fantasy world, one from which he may never return. It’s the only place he can get away with clubbing every night, enjoy a threesome while frolicking in the grass, and where “fore” play is all about him! What's not to love?

He was a couple of years into this relationship before I arrived here in the UAE. I definitely felt I needed to educate myself on the rules of this newly revised and updated obsession of his. As far as I could tell, this made most of his other previous ball obsessions obsolete. He had set a new course and had a swing in his step.

What’s a girl to do? It was clear to me that if I wanted to be a part of his world, I would have to grow some balls of my own, step out onto the golf course, and get to know my competition well. So I took a deep breath and eagerly stepped up to the opportunity for growth!

My prior golf experience involved “goofy golf” many moons ago, a very redneck game of washers in Texas at my brother’s house, Frisbee golf in the foothills of Colorado with my kids, and driving a golf cart around a senior living community, giving tours where I worked. I also felt encouraged by the fact that women were, more and more, enjoying a sport that was traditionally seen as a male-dominated game. Attitude is everything, so I adjusted mine and got excited about the possibilities of trying this so-called sport my husband was head-over-hills about. Still, I wondered if I would ever grow to genuinely love it. 

Artwork by Lorelei: "Wisdom in Wonder"

Perry was very encouraging and excited for me to join his clubbing scene. After all, if I loved the game, he would benefit by getting more kitchen passes and hopefully have my blessing. After checking out some of the local golf clubs, we quickly found our home at the Abu Dhabi City Golf Club. It was a little less formal than most clubs and offered night golfing which meant he could golf after work. Additionally, it was community and family oriented, and offered a few other amenities as well. I figured, worst-case scenario, if things didn’t work out between golf and me, we could reunite on the 19th hole for a date night.

Look who I found on the 19th hole

As every good aspiring golfer does, I immediately signed up for lessons, bought the proper "cute" attire, and a six pack of hot pink balls. I had high hopes of my junior golf clubs and I being a perfect match. Occasionally, being short comes in handy. I refused to put the money into a “real” set until I proved myself worthy. As I look back now, I realize that maybe that Angry Bird golf club cover was an omen of things to come.

Lesson day

Angry Bird

Learning to love the game of golf wasn’t immediate. If love is just a game, then this was it. It’s been a looong fairway! In fact, on more than one occasion, I’ve been convinced that the grass is surely greener on the other side and considered walking off into the sunset, setting my balls free. I definitely had commitment issues. It felt awkward and uncomfortable in the beginning. Like all relationships, it was give and take. I gave and it took! Most of the time, the only birdies I got to enjoy were the occasional birds that squawked across the pond when my pretty pink ball splashed into the water. I’ve spent so much time in the bunker with a sand wedge and a rake, I might've been better off just sitting down in the sand, building castles and reconnecting with my inner child. Come to think of it, it's quite common to see people connecting with their inner two-year-old out on the course.

Artwork by Lorelei: "Be Free"

Here I am two years later still playing the game. I’ve settled in to a comfortable “on occasion” tee time. I see it more clearly now. I get it. It’s an art. It’s creative. It’s inspiring. It’s a relationship.

Art by Lorelei "Tee Time"

I’m no longer threatened by the seductive call my husband hears from her beautiful peaks and valleys, or her well-manicured landscape. I've come to accept, admire, and respect the beautiful game of golf, even though she doesn't whisper my name. My muse lies elsewhere. Most of the time, I'd rather be doing the downward dog instead of dogleg, slinging paint instead of swinging clubs, and reading books instead of reading greens. For me, Ace is still a hardware store and a cup is just a bra size. However, I do look forward to spending time at the club with family and friends.

My favorite golf  partners! Team Broxson!

One of my favorite things about golf is just enjoying being outdoors, particularly this time of year when there’s a cool breeze and the sunsets are so beautiful.

Abu Dhabi Sunset

The golf professionals that manage the club are awesome, but I consider everyone that works at our club a golf pro. Of course I'm talking about the support staff. They're a team. They know us by name and make us feel like we’ve just won the PGA Desert Classic when we walk in the door. It's known as the "Peoples Golf Club," and it's true. The culture and the attitude make it a great community. A home away from home.

Part of the awesome wait staff at ADCGC Always has a smile.

Perry and Casey. Casey is part of the awesome waitstaff at ADCGC

Perry's buddy, Kumar at ADCGC. Best bartender ever!

I love that I’ve met new people and built lasting friendships. Life isn't always fair, neither is golf! It brings out the best and the worst in people, so it can definitely be an interesting couple of hours, depending on who you're golfing with.

Artwork by Lorelei: "Drama Queen"

I love the greens!

My favorite greens!

And....I love the drive. Nothing feels quite like a perfectly executed drive….in a golf cart!

I've discovered my own joys of golfing. They may be somewhat outside the box - the tee box, that is. I have my own approach to keeping golf fun and creative. I've found inspiration in the people I've met and brought a little bit of "me" to the mix as well.

Paint the Town night at Abu Dhabi City Golf Club

Inspiring creativity. Growing great artists and golfers!

The thing about golf is that you don’t have to be a professional golfer to love the game. And, in my case, you don’t even have to be a golfer to fall in love with it. Oh, and I did trade in my junior clubs for a “big girl” set!