Flying With Heart

Artwork by Lorelei: "That is when he started to fly wingless
with heart"-Bahareh Amidi

Today I am reminded to fly with heart.  It was from a poem that I received this memory, a poem entitled “The Angel Who Lost His Wings.”  The author, Bahareh, is a beautiful poetess and I'm honored to call her my friend as well.

 

As a child I was afraid of everything. At times it was a paralyzing and consuming fear. I was afraid of being left alone, afraid of thunder, afraid of getting lost, afraid of going to hell, afraid of talking to people. The list goes on. You name it, I was fearful of it. 

As an adult, I’ve made a conscious effort not to be limited by my fears. I no longer entertain the fear-based illusions of my own mind or try to save others based on them. I believe fear is the basis for exclusion in relationships, both individual and global. We fear what we don’t understand. It is my belief that we are all one, all connected, all here to guide, teach, and support each other in the process of being.

Artwork by Lorelei: "The greatest danger facing us is ourselves, and irrational fear of the unknown."
- Captain Kirk, Star Trek

Very few people want to risk exploring anything beyond their physical, mental, or spiritual comfort zones. I want to listen, reflect, and experience. I want to look beyond my fears and my limited beliefs. I want to examine all the perceptions that keep me from connecting to myself and to the people and experiences that cross my path.

I’ve feel the light that shines in me and through me. I want to inspire others to embrace their own journey, finding their own truth, and live creatively. We all have our own mountains to climb, struggling through the myriad of challenges that will reveal our own light.

Artwork by Lorelei: I must be a mermaid. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”-Anais Nin

In a matter of days I will embark on a new adventure - a new chapter in my journey. It begins with a month-long Yoga retreat and certification. I bounce back and forth between moments of excitement to moments of sheer panic! I’ve never done anything quite like this before. The mind worms of anxiety and fear have definitely crept in and out of the corners of my thoughts.

Artwork by Lorelei: “Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before.” -Erich Fromm

 

As I sit in reflection of my life, my children come to mind. Their bravery and courage in their own lives give me renewed strength to keep reaching, to spread my wings and fly. Their willingness to take risks, to follow their own dreams and blaze new trails, fill me with pride as a mother and give me the courage to do the same.

Artwork by Lorelei: “You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself. “-Alan Alda

I think back to when my oldest son was small. He was four. He was a beautiful blue-eyed, curly-headed, shy little momma’s boy. That morning the sky was as blue as his eyes and the sunshine as bright as his smile. I helped him tie his orange belt in preparation to compete in a statewide competition for Tae Kwon Do. 

As we approached the lobby of the venue, there were hundreds of people filing into the arena. The room was packed with spectators, fellow competitors and parents. Pieces of conversation buzzed in our ears like a swarm of bees, and camera lights hit the air like flashes of lightning. It was quite overwhelming. He took one look at this crowd, let go of my hand, and bolted for the door. He was there to “fight” but he decided to take “flight” instead.

I caught up with him and swooped him up just as he reached the exit. I tried unsuccessfully to console him. My words did little to convince him that he was brave and prepared for this day. I can still see those big blue eyes filled with tears, begging me to take him home. Conflicted, and with many second thoughts, I quickly deposited him, tears and all, into the hands of his beloved instructor. With tears of my own, I disappeared into the crowd, not knowing if he would participate, much less forgive me. That day, without realizing it, my son began one of many journeys in his life. It was the beginning of his journey within. 

Artwork by Lorelei: "From that hour Siddhartha ceased to fight against his destiny. There shone in his face the serenity of knowledge, of one who is no longer confronted with conflict of desires, who has found salvation, who is in harmony with the stream of events, with the stream of life, full of sympathy and compassion, surrendering himself to the stream, belonging to the unity of all things."-Hermann Hesse

At the tender age of four, my little boy grew leaps and bounds that morning. He found his light, stepped onto the floor, scared to death, yet determined. Just like the angel who lost his wings, he started to fly, with the wings of his heart. This time, those wings didn't carry him out the door in fear, but instead he soared to new heights. Those wings carried him to victory, both physically and emotionally. He walked off the floor, a little taller, a little braver, a little wiser, and with two gold medals around his neck. He was transformed. So was I.

Occasionally, my four-year old self visits me, full of fear and self-doubt. At times, while preparing for this yoga adventure, I’ve wanted to run away, just like my baby did on that sunny Saturday morning almost 20 years ago. I invite my more adventurous self to embrace the unknowns with wonder and joyful anticipation. 

For me, adventure and travel are almost always accompanied by inward journeys. Perhaps, by being dedicated to our own self-transformation on a daily basis, committed to living creatively, and practicing compassion with ourselves as well as others, true healing can begin. Perhaps, by staying present in the moment, embracing the mystery, and opening to the lessons we can learn from each other, we can begin to heal the world. Perhaps, I’m a dreamer, but perhaps, I’m not the only one.

Artwork by Lorelei:
"Listen to the colour of your dreams."-The Beatles

So, I will embrace myself with compassion and deliver my inner four-year-old self to the beloved Yogis – my teachers and guides along this particular journey. I know that just as my son did that day, and my children have done many times since, I will spread my wings and fly with heart.

Artwork by Lorelei: Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence."
- Desiderata

Pack light, travel light, BE the light.